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A Nation of Wimps

There was once a time in my life, when I determined the seriousness of a situation by asking myself, "Will this matter in 10 years?" At the time, the answer was usually no. Now, its suddenly YES! When I first read the article, Nation of Wimps, I thought to myself- geez, what is this huge crisis they're talking about, I dont even know anybody like that! .... yet wait.... MY life is kinda like that. Have I become the victim of my well-meaning helicopter parents, or rather I have transformed into my own propelling force of excellence?
Life isnt as simple as it used to be... want to go to college? Become a nurse? Well isnt that swell, there is a huge nursing shortage... off you go now! Um, NO! Welcome to reality honey... if you want to do those things, you'd better have your shit together, because you just signed up for a long battle uphill in the rain! These days, you'd better be smarter than Virginia Valedictorian, because you're competing directly against her.
"Who," you might ask, "IS Virginia Valedictorian?" I'm sure you've met her before... She's the straight A student who fights for every 100% like she's trying to rip off Mike Tyson's ear! The sample test question:
[picture of a plastic red chair with gray legs] What color is the chair?
a. Red b. Blue C. Gray D. yellow

The correct answer is A. Red, but V.V. chose C. Gray. Her argument? "The legs of the chair are gray. The seat is red, but the supporting structure of the chair is gray. Therefore, the correct answer is gray and you should give me credit for that answer because the question was obviously poorly written". Everybody else in the class is groaning, rolling their eyes, praying she'll just let it go. LET IT GO! You cant always be perfect! Its okay to get an answer wrong!

These days though, maybe its not okay to get the answer wrong. After all, you are competing directly against V.V. for that spot on the program... limited seating after all, they will only accept the best. Your 3.7 GPA is a black smudge compared to her shining 4.2 GPA. How can you even GET a 4.2 GPA? I have no idea, but it is possible and V.V. has discovered the space portal that allows it. Damn her! Next step, become Bionic Student.... because with enough tutoring, studying, and blatant memorization, we can make you Faster... Stronger... Smarter!

Suddenly these moments of self doubt are not just associated with one part of your life, they've overflown into all aspects of it! Average just isnt good enough anymore... sure, at the end of the day your mom will still love you (hopefully!), but your boss wont. People are fighting so hard to be the best- not because of poor self esteem, but simply to build a better life for themselves. Want to buy a bigger house? Take a vacation this year? Replace that old P.O.S car? well honey, you better work a little harder, because nothin' is free.

Now people are so dependent on 'worldly' things... and I am a victim of this myself... cell phones, the internet.... everything is instant gratification. I want it NOW. NOW!!! People just arent willing to wait anymore. Waiting= wasted time, and Wasted time= wasted money and energy. Ever seen anybody flip out because their internet connection was too slow? Yep, I thought so. All that wasted time... we cant help but think that we could have been doing something else! But why must we always be doing something???

Because idle hands are the devil's playtoy! Trust me, if you arent doing something, before long you will be getting into trouble. Perhaps in the old days, we could say to our kids "Go outside and play, why dontcha?" No more! With all the dangers in this world, we need to send them out in a bubble. Have you checked to see how many child predators live in your neighborhood? How close do you live to that powerplant, is your dirt radioactive? Even with a huge fenced yard, parents are fearing the worst- and for good reason. Now, every person who interacts with your child had better be background checked, professionally groomed (polo shirt with embroidered name, anyone?) and educated in early childhood development.

This article claims that our children will not have leadership skills... are you kidding me?!? I think its the opposite, every child is groomed from birth to be perfect- best at school, sports, and interpersonal skills. I read an article the other day about a little girl who was reading full sentences at 18months! Well, whats so great about that? Emma can do that, she just doesnt like to show off! ha, yeah right! How many times have I had to reassure myself that I am not a failure as a parent because my child is developing 'normally' instead of 'accelerated'? Is this the instant gratification issue rearing its head again? Keeping up with the Baby Smiths? And where does it stem from... love for your child, or cushioning your own deteriorating self esteem?

Now, there is a program out there to help kids with everything! In the past, maybe they said to "wait, little Johnny will grow out of it"... nope, you need to be enrolling Johnny in these tutoring programs because I can tell ya just by looking at him- that kid ain't normal! He's preforming at a pre-preschool level. So what if he just turned two, if he's going to catch up to Bill Gates, he better get that thumb out of his mouth and do some real work around here!

Maybe the most revealing part of all this? What do we teach our kids by promoting 'healthy failure'? Competition- because not everybody is 'in on the joke'. Sure, I would love to sit around in a circle, hold my kids hands and sing kumbuya- but while I'm busy nurturing, the other kids will be bullies and kicking dirt in the face of my kids for being 'wimps'. Sooner than later, your kids will figure out that the reason they are being bullied is because they aren't fitting in... not getting A's on test, being picked first for dodgeball, or hanging with the 'cool' kids. Its a cruel dog-eat-dog world.... just pray that someday your child will be lucky enough to be adopted by Angelina Jolie.

[Disclaimer! I cannot be held responsible for any blog post written in a moment of anxiety-fueled panic regarding nursing school, or the 'C' I got on my last exam]