the agony of mom jeans....

Why is it.....

I go shopping for jeans, and because of my generous blessings in the ass department, I find myself in the 'womans' section. After searching through row and rows of tapered leg, stonewashed jeans *insert shudder here*, I manage to find a few pairs of dark rinse, boot cut jeans. Or, even better, the flare cut- because it makes my thighs look smaller. Find the correct size, try them on.... and they fit! Then the check list....

Mid-rise- no butt crack, but no where close to the belly button

Length- MUST be long enough to nicely fall over the tops of my shoes.... with a smidge extra for when I am wearing heels

Tightness- Its important to hug those curves.... just say no to camel toe and saggy ass syndrome.

Do a full look over in the mirror..... lookin good!


Now.... take them home, wear them, wash them..... suddenly they have morphed into 'mom' jeans. OMG, how does this happen?? Mysteriously, the waist has crept up to my belly button, the length has shrunk an inch.... I'm wearing high waters now- and you simply cannot try to pass those off as a capri. Another $50 wasted on mom jeans incognito. Of course, this never occurs until after I have worn them a couple times and decided I like them enough to throw out the receipt. And so they will sit, at the bottom of my drawer... never to be thought of again until that desperate day when I have absolutely NOTHING else that is clean. Sad, sad day.