It takes a whole village.... or at least a small entourage

So Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony had their twins last February, and People magazine is putting out their debut article, complete with pictures and details of the little tot's plush life. Apparently, People shelled out 6 million for the pictures! I saw a preview on their website... J-Lo is wearing an evening gown while holding her angelic sleeping babies. Ahhh, I remember those days! Of course, it wasnt an evening gown- it was a tattered bathrobe- and my baby wasnt sleeping- she was screaming- but I can already tell that I have a lot in common with J-Lo! The article goes on to describe the baby's nursery, which has "silver rattles... on silver trays", their own butler and 2 FT nannies. Also included, fur wraps from D&G. Wonder what that fur will look like after one of the little darlings pukes on it? J-Lo describes how absolutely fabulous motherhood is and some of the parenting decisions she's made. Such as not to breastfeed because "her mom didnt". Whoa, watch out for the backlash from the BFing Nazi's, it can sting!
Anyway, I cant say I really blame her.... if I had that much money and resources at my disposal, I would take advantage too! But I would do it in a different way.

Butler!?! Nanny's??? so cliche, she should try these....

"The Reminder Woman" As she follows you out the door, she is quickly shoving all the necessities that you forgot into your giant designer tote bag! Never leave the house without a spare diaper or bottle again! She will also print out a detailed schedule of your playdates, and call 30 minutes prior to make sure you are running on time!

"The Carpet Cleaner" Baby spit up? Vomit? God forbid, diarrhea?!? No problem! Simply remove the offending baby and bring in the carpet cleaning crew! Similar to the SpotBot, they will have your floors plush and hygenic again in no time! (note: may not be able to entirely remove mashed carrot stains)

"The Lysol Team" Possibly the most requested, this team follows baby around the room and sterilizes everything baby touches! You'll no longer wonder if that is a 'dirty' toy, because everything will be germ free.

"Oriental Dry Cleaning" Absolutely a necessity for the new mother, your dry cleaner will not only clean and press your little darling's outfits, they also have pick-up and delivery!! Let them deal with the pesky spit up stains- so you can focus on more important things, like choosing their next fur wrap.

"HAZMAT Diaper Service" Diaper Genie? Diaper Champ? Those are so last year.... this Hazardous Materials service will quickly swoop down on baby- dressed in their orange spaceman suits- remove the 'offending' diaper, and powder baby's sweet little tush! Then, the diaper will be burned with the other bio-hazardous waste from your home. HAZMAT also cleans up any doggie-doos your designer pooch drops on the carpet!

"Human Dairy Farm" We all know that breastmilk is best.... why deprive your child of that just because you fear disrupting your breast tissue? In the old days, they had wet nurses, but new technology has allowed for human milking machines! This team of lactating women will pump and store their breastmilk in your refrigerator- making it easy for the nanny's to fix a bottle for feedings! After all, wouldn't it weird you out to have your baby suckling on another woman's breast?

Congratulations Jennifer and Marc! Remember, save that 6 million dollars for your kids future therapy sessions!